Right relationship is about balance, health, and sustainability. It’s also about service–how we help the world with the power we have.
I’m talking about our personal relationship to money–not how the world economies should treat money, but how we personally can come into alignment with the spiritual nature of money.
Money has a spiritual nature?
The truth is everything has a spiritual nature. What makes money magical is that it’s a unique form of condensed energy. As such, it can serve as a mirror, a teacher for us on our spiritual journey.
Beyond “Think and Grow Rich”
Getting in alignment or right-relationship is NOT a way to get rich overnight. “Think and grow rich” and the “Law of Attraction” are often ways to avoid looking at our deep fear of scarcity.
It’s true that as you grow in your understanding of money, creating it becomes much easier. As you learn to charge appropriately, market to the right people, and own the value of what you do, your business becomes much easier to run.
But that part’s not magical. That’s just about learning a system and getting better at it.
Right-relationship is about something deeper. It’s about that subtle inner tension we carry about money, which relates to our sense of power and security in the world.
Right-relationship means accepting that we don’t control everything about life.
Right-relationship means living in gratitude for what we have, being willing to use the power we have to do good, and the cheerful acceptance that we are not ultimately in charge of the Universe. Including our money.
Now this might sound funny coming from someone who advocates a weekly accounting practice, designing passive income schemes, and generally is known to fully enjoy the game of business.
All these things are true. I like the game, I love the game. But I know, in my heart, that I am only a player. Right-relationship to the game means knowing that you didn’t create it and you can’t control it. You can only play it, and play it well.
Is this getting too esoteric? Here are some practical ways right-relationship shows up:
How to get in right-relationship with money.
Stop avoiding. Face the reality, the truth of your present relationship with money. Stop looking for salvation. Stop spending money on overpriced programs that are going to solve all your money problems. Start accepting that the only way anything changes is by facing it on the internal plane.
Forgive yourself. Some people’s issues show up in relationships. Some show up in reckless behavior or addiction. Some show up in money. There is nothing wrong with having issues. We all have them. You’re just where you’re at.
Relax the grasping. Grasping is an instinctual response to fear. Think of a baby, latching on to its mother. Take a deep breathe. Notice when you get in sticky situations with clients and money, or overspend. Somewhere in there are attachments, deep unmet needs for safety and security that you are unconsciously trying to meet through your use (or avoidance) of money. Get mindful. Breathe into the places that are afraid and dialog with them.
Start owning your own power. Money is a powerful thing in our culture. Knowing how to use it, knowing how it works, having practice and experience–these lead to real power. Let that be OK. Step out of the fear that you can’t, or that you’ll be corrupted by it. You won’t if you take responsibility and own your own choices.
Start using your money, your power, your will…for good. Right-relationship ultimately describes the relationship of the small and personal to the grand and majestic. To be in right-relationship with Source/God/etc means owning your power, and then letting that power be used as a tool for the larger good. Do what is right, regardless of the money. Play the game, but don’t be the game. Be a player in service of good.
These steps are roughly in order. The important thing to notice is you have to own your power before you can truly serve the world. Otherwise, you have nothing to offer. Without a solid vessel, you are useless as a tool. So work on yourself. Then let go of yourself.
Really enjoyed this article. I read the “Soul of Money” by Lynn Twist several years back and this article has inspired me to pick it up again. Nothing like starting your own business venture to bring all of your deepest beliefs about value, self-worth and money all flying in your face! And owning that value regardless of what anyone pays you in a job or does for you in a relationship is, as I’m finding, the most essential first step. In other words, until we can claim and live from a space of ownership about our inherent value and power first, we’ll never find what we seek out there in the world. Thanks for yet another great article!
I’ve been away from your blog for some time, but I’ve come back. I’ve been living in a lot of negativity for a while, and having a number of money problems and power-ownership issues. But I’m endeavoring to draw myself towards things that bring me inspiration, hope, and/or joy. Your words are exactly what I needed to read tonight. Thank you for yet another article written from your divinely-informed, world-wise perspective.